Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas to all my friends, family and clients. Without all of you, I wouldn't be who I am today, and I'm so grateful for every single person that has touched my life. I think in the hustle and bustle of the Holiday Season, it's really easy to take Christmas for granted. It's a challenge for sure to take the time to realize what the holiday season is all about, and really say a genuine Merry Christmas to the people around us. Last night I watched the Grinch Who Stole Christmas (well, to be honest, I only watched a couple minutes of it... we all ended up falling asleep on the couch for most of it ... we must have been tired!), a Christmas classic now a days, and in the words of Cindy Lou Who, "l look around at you and Mom and everyone getting all kerbobbled. Doesn't this seem superfluous?" Every year when I watch this movie, I'm reminded that Christmas isn't about presents and getting all "kerbobbled". The great Dr. Seuss reminds us in this movie that, "Maybe Christmas perhaps doesn't come from a store, maybe perhaps it means a little bit more."
In two weeks from today I will be starting my graduate degree at the University of Regis to get my Masters of Education in Elementary with an Art Education Endorsement. Because of this week being Christmas and next week being New Years week, last week was my last official week of babysitting. After being a nanny for almost 7 years, you can imagine how life-changing this was for me. As I reflect on my last week of babysitting, I realize that I am so blessed to have been able to work with all these children for so long. It is because of these kids that made me want to become a teacher in the first place. Without them, I'd be lost.
I also realized this week that I don't take enough time to ever slow down and really cherish every moment that surpasses me. Often enough, I speed through life, and find myself wishing for time to go by faster, and all the while I forget to live in the moment, and sometimes, even, take too many things for granted.
The tragedy that occurred on Friday, Decemeber 14th shook me to pieces, completely shattering my heart. The events are so unimaginable and so unbelievably sad that I have woken up every day since then with the heaviest heart, aching for all the parents, families, children, students, teachers and lives that were affected. I don't want to talk about gun control or media or mental health, and don't worry I won't... It breaks my heart that, as a country, we divide straight down the middle when a tragedy occurs and argue about issues that are arbitrary instead of coming together as one in order to heal broken hearts, mourn, grieve and be the nation under God that we are supposed to be. We will never agree, so why do we even bother. All I want to do is mourn with the people that lost their children and loved ones, and maybe also change the way I live my life. Slow down, take a deep breathe, remember what it is actually important and most of all, cherish every moment we have with the people we love. If you are anything like me, you might feel the same way I do right now. Because of the Sandy Hook tragedy, I've had a hard time getting in the Christmas spirit. As I sat and cried and talked with one of the Mom's of whose kids I babysit, she said, "I don't know what to do, except be the best Mom that I can be and love my children and every moment I spend with them." I think that's very true... that is all we can do. All we can really do is become better people because of this. Love a little more and try to stop taking things for granted. Make sure everyone you love knows that you love them. a lot.
As you can imagine, this week was an emotional for me. Instead of wishing time would go by faster and flying through this week (like I often find myself doing), I cherished every second I spent with the kids I babysit. I cherished the moment when Fisher (age 2) screamed "TOUCH DOWN!" at the top of his lungs while playing imaginary football, and the moment when Caroline said, "Emmy Sitter I just love you", and when my little Emily Jane got home from school and jumped in my arms and begged me to stay and play even though her Mom was home, and the moment when one year old Charlotte stood dancing in the family room with the biggest smile on her face, and when the girls and I drank our "sleepy time tea" before bed while singing Christmas carols.
All these little munchkins are the sweetest most darling kids, and they all have taught me so much about who I am, who I want to be, and most importantly, about what really matters in this world. So, in the last few days I spent with them we did a little more singing and dancing around the house than normal, turned the TV off and played more games, gave more hugs, read a few more books before bedtime, and sang songs and snuggled for a little longer than usual before turning off the lights for the night because even though I am just their babysitter, I hope that they always felt cared for, loved and safe when I was around, and it is because of them that I want to become a teacher, which I am now on my way of pursuing.
Since the Sandy Hook tragedy, I have been asked a couple of times if I'm sure I still want to be a teacher. This got me to thinking about how awful it is that teaching has now become a "dangerous" job. Even more sad is the fact that elementary schools aren't safe anymore. Its terrible that one of the places where children should feel and be completely safe and secure isn't safe any longer. It's even more saddening that many children may be scared to go to school now. So, to answer that question, yes, of course I still want to be a teacher. On that terrible Friday, I was at Gold Rush Elementary School helping out in my sister's wonderful second grade class, when we all heard the news. We were sitting in the teacher's lounge eating lunch when the news spread. Every single person in the room stopped eating, lost their appetite, and were shocked by the news of the shooting. And instead of the teachers there fearing that this could happen to their school or being relieved that it wasn't there school, they talked about how this is not okay ... it's not okay for children to fear going to school everyday, which may be the case now. It's not okay for elementary schools to not be a safe haven anymore. They talked about how they would do everything in their power to make sure that every single one of their students feels safe coming to school everyday, and would do everything in their power to protect them while they are at school everyday. I believe that all of these teachers and most teachers out there would give their lives for any one of their students, and that's the way it should be. I want to be a teacher to make an impact on children's lives, to educate them, to make them feel loved, needed and cared for. I want to be a teacher because deep in my heart I have a love and a hope for every child in the world. I truly believe that with the right support, education and love each and every child will grow up to make a difference in this world, and I want to be apart of making that happen. We cannot live in fear... we must, instead, live in love to make a positive impact in this world.
Thank you Anna, Emily, Caroline, Ryan, Patrick, Mac, Charlotte and Fisher for being such a joy in my life. You have all inspired me to want to work with amazing kids like yourselves for the rest of my career and life. I love you!
My thoughts and prayers are with all of the parents, families, teachers and kids that were affected in the tragedy. May God bring you comfort and peace in this difficult time. Oh how I wish I could give all of you a big hug right now.
I wish a Merry Christmas to all my friends and family... may you spend time with loved ones and remember what is important this Christmas.
P.S. To all my photography clients that might be reading this... I still would love to be your photographer for any and all occasions. I will still be booking sessions while I am in grad school, and even hopefully once I become a teacher as well!